Does Anyone Know Whats Going On?

Its our new home buying strategy. So you may remember from yesterday we were just sitting around waiting. in home buyers purgatory?
Today was more of the same, for the most part.

We knew our Realtor would be out of contact because her husband was having a procedure and she needed to be with him.  We talked with her last night and got the days scoop with no great strides in progress. The Breakdown:

• HOA would not be approving our screened in porch because it was not 51% brick. - Do not ask me how a screened in porch can be 51% brick and still be a porch and not a room, but apparently I'm the rule breaker not the rule maker.
• The county would approve our "after the fact permit" it was just a process of going down with the survey and pictures and getting in line for a short meeting then paying the fee - I hope they provide babysitters for that fee or I have a feeling the people will be rushing to get me and Eli in an out of there quick.
• The lender has had enough of this silly appraiser business and was going to try to get around him somehow so none of the permit stuff would matter. - Apparently, you don't get into all these lender requested repairs typically with a conventional loan (which is what our buyer is using) its mostly an FHA loan things (not to mention its stupid and petty!) 

The last one we were pretty excited about and per our Realtor's advice we decided to sit tight and hope this was the route they were taking. The goal was to find something out by this afternoon.
So while sitting and waiting this afternoon, about 3, the hubster got a note from our broker telling us we should be at dream house's closing. We were under the impression they were just signing this morning because they had to leave town and as soon as our house's sale went through we would be able to sign.
Suddenly, we were very excited and didn't really know what to do. I didn't want to call and bother our Realtor but I definitely wanted to jump on the chance to sign if  someone was screwing up somewhere and they were going to let us. I called the title company immediately to try to figure out what to do. Our closer told us that the lender said we could sign but the loan would not actually be funded until we closed on our house so we could wait if we wanted to (way to burst our bubble.) We decided to just wait as it was late Friday afternoon and our new close date was looking like Monday (according to the title company.)
I called back to give them our final answer and they told me no, we need you to come  today after all.

The Hubster took off early, headed to the bank and got our check for closing then picked me up and we headed over. On the way there our Realtor called to tell us we didn't need to go, the title company had called her and told her never mind, we could wait. After explaining the whole story to her she decided to go ahead and go through with the paper signing because it sounded like our lender was going forward with funding. --Do you feel confused yet? I sure as heck was.

We finally get there and get it all sorted out.
We could sign (today or when we came back to sign on our house) but it would not be funded. Since we were there we decided to go ahead, less to do later. The closer was great.  She had lots of info for us including the fact that she had once lived in dream house...yes, our very dream house.  She didn't own it but her roommate did. She said she loved it and would love to come see it some time. I told her, yes come!  Kind of exciting getting to find out a little history of your home.
She also said that there should be more info on our house late this evening or first thing Monday and if not she was going to call and insert foot in a$$ try to get things moving. We did finally hear that a director got involved and documents should be at the title company Monday morning.
Hopefully that means we close by Wed.
And that is all we know going into what could be the last weekend in our sweet little home.